Kyou Kara Maou - Oneshot - Pride
Jul. 14th, 2007 04:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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snippetsTitle: Pride
Word Count: 1,391
Genre: General
Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou
Character/Pairing: Wolfram, Troops, Gwendal
Rating: PG
Author's Note: This started as an exercise to see if I could stick to third person limited rather than third person omniscient and only a glimmer of an idea to see what would happen if Gwendal and Wolfram faced each other in combat.
Un-Beta’d
Summary: Wolfram has always had his pride, but what would happen if he was forced to fight Gwendal?
Pride
There was a debate going around his troops. It was a debate Wolfram would have preferred avoiding, but things never turned out the way he wanted. Sweat glistened on his brow as he slowly crossed his right foot over his left, circling his opponent. It had been a long battle already and near as he could tell, he was the only one breaking a sweat.
It wasn't fair and Wolfram could feel a twitch aching to let loose over his left brow. Except, that would be a distraction, and he refused to allow anything to prevent him from doing his best in this duel. His pride demanded it since he lost face once already with Yuuri's foreign games; He wasn't about to lose against his brother with anything less than perfection. His eyes narrowed, searching for an opening in that unflappable expression and formal stance that was so characteristic of Gwendal. When he perceived a slight imbalance as Gwendal's foot grazed his right as he circled, Wolfram lunged.
~*~
Wolfram clenched his teeth for the tenth time that day. Apparently, the entire castle thought he was not only deaf but blind as well. He had already seen about fourteen people wandering innocently into the kitchen or the laundry room and coming out with giddiness lightening their steps. Those maids were definitely up to something again and it no doubt had to do with playing the odds. It was the mazouku's favorite unofficial sport even though Yuuri was determined to change that to baseball of all things.
Try as he might, Wolfram really couldn't understand the appeal of the game even if he loved how it made his fiancé’s eyes light up every time it was mentioned and he was a little more amenable afterwards. Those precious moments helping ease the aches the game had given to Yuuri were the closest he would let Wolfram get. He was too suspicious at any other time.
Shrugging, Wolfram continued stretching his muscles in preparation for his daily workout. Not only did he need to be limber for the sword practice ahead, but he needed to relax in order to control his magic. Every skill was valuable, and he demanded no less than perfection from himself and his men. They were hand picked especially for their unique ability to be proficient in both types of warfare.
Still, why couldn't they stop whispering to themselves? It was getting old, that incessant murmur. Besides, everyone knew Gwendal no longer seriously practiced. How they imagined they'd get him and Wolfram into a duel together was beyond his keen. He knew better than to challenge his elder brother even if he was confident in his abilities. Gwendal had years of experience on his side.
Shaking his head, he bounced to his feet, enjoying the feeling of rippling muscles as the settled into familiar poses. Wolfram was just going to have to beat some sense into his men. Glancing over his shoulder, he took satisfaction in their averted gazes. They should be ashamed! The majority had bet against him. He was just going to have to teach them some manners.
Smiling, he slowly built up a fireball in his hand. When no one noticed the coiling energy, he shouted a single warning before flinging it into their mist. The majority escaped unscathed and a few battled with burnt clothing and singed hair. It served them right, letting their guards down like that.
Laughing, he released another spell at his men and took satisfaction in their quick reflexes this second time around. He was going to enjoy teaching them how to stay on top of their toes. “Come on, men; you can do better than that! You’re supposed to be the best of the best, but if you can’t even keep on eye on the enemy what’s going to happen to you?”
He dashed in with his sword and gave two a thwack with the flat of his blade to their arms and backsides. “Come at me, if you think you can stop me!”
Determination began to gleam in their eyes as one by one and groups of two to three dashed in with spells with swords to take on their captain. Wolfram, was going to make them rue they day they doubted his abilities. He also hoped it would give them the motivation to improve if they couldn’t even lay a hand on him. He was looking forward to leaving this training session black and blue and his men in worse condition.
War, after all, was a harsh mistress. There would be no pulled punches in their future if it came down to it. And perhaps, he would convince them that he really did have a chance against his siblings.
What he didn't know was that a plan was already in motion to settle that question once and for all. There would be no escaping the duel once the maids had Yuuri on their side. What would start out as an exhibition for Yuuri's benefit would shortly turn into a full challenge.
~*~
Did he have to cheer so loudly? Wolfram glared at Yuuri and slowly stood up, wiping the dirt off the back of his pants. It was undignified, the way he had been beaten. That slip of Gwendal's foot had been calculated from the beginning and a swift spin around his blade and a foot hooked around Wolfram's ankle had neatly done the trick. At least he managed to get first blood out of him, even if his pride had to be sacrificed.
Turning his nose up at his fiance, Wolfram turned to face his half-brother and grudgingly nodded his head. "You haven't lost your touch, brother, but the next time we spar, I'll make sure you won't win with petty tricks." Stabbing his sword back into its sheath, Wolfram made to walk out of the combat circle only to find himself stopped by Gwendal’s hand on his forearm. Staring down at it, Wolfram swallowed.
"You did well today, Wolfram. You've improved tremendously since the last time we fought."
Wolfram frowned. Of course he had. It had been over 10 years since they last crossed blades. Besides, Wolfram preferred to keep his skills honed and Gwendal was often to busy seeing to the day to day duties of regent to spare time on practice.
"You haven't lost your touch, either, Gwendal. Although, if you were still as good as you used to be, you wouldn't have let me last longer than five parries."
He was rewarded with a smile twitch. "You barely lasted longer than that, Wolfram."
Wolfram scowled. Of course he hadn't. Gwendal had opted for caution this time, forcing Wolfram to attack rather than defend. What else did he expect? It was ridiculous of course.
"Still, you might be right. I should practice more often and you need a more challenging partner than the men you have following you. They're to predictable and so are you."
Wolfram looked fully at his brother and couldn't help but smile a little despite the frenetic jumping up and down both Yuuri and Greta were currently doing on the sidelines. "And you need to get out of your office more often."
Gwendal smiled back. "Of course, and it will give Yuuri the perfect opportunity to start taking over some of the duties I've been completing for him." He turned his gaze fully unto one frozen Demon King. "You don't expect me to keep doing them forever, do you Yuuri?"
No one could miss the thinly veiled menace in Gwendal’s voice.
Wolfram noted the hesitant gaze and the panicked look in Yuuri’s eyes. At least he had the good sense not to duck and run. He hoped that Yuuri wouldn't attempt to neglect his duties again. Of course, Wolfram supposed he could warn him not to try with Gwendal as his opponent. Gunter was way to soft on him. Still, it amused Wolfram endlessly that the sea of paperwork which confronted his fiancé was purely a fabrication of Gwendal's subtle revenge. If he just behaved, only a fourth of those documents would need to be signed personally. The rest was mere window dressing.
"I think that would be an excellent idea Gwendal. It'll keep him out of trouble."
Yuuri blanched.
Perhaps this duel wasn't such a bad thing in the end.
Addendum: This fic was a little different from my usual style which is why I went ahead and posted it. Concrit, as usual, is very much appreciated.
Back to Fic Archive
Word Count: 1,391
Genre: General
Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou
Character/Pairing: Wolfram, Troops, Gwendal
Rating: PG
Author's Note: This started as an exercise to see if I could stick to third person limited rather than third person omniscient and only a glimmer of an idea to see what would happen if Gwendal and Wolfram faced each other in combat.
Un-Beta’d
Summary: Wolfram has always had his pride, but what would happen if he was forced to fight Gwendal?
There was a debate going around his troops. It was a debate Wolfram would have preferred avoiding, but things never turned out the way he wanted. Sweat glistened on his brow as he slowly crossed his right foot over his left, circling his opponent. It had been a long battle already and near as he could tell, he was the only one breaking a sweat.
It wasn't fair and Wolfram could feel a twitch aching to let loose over his left brow. Except, that would be a distraction, and he refused to allow anything to prevent him from doing his best in this duel. His pride demanded it since he lost face once already with Yuuri's foreign games; He wasn't about to lose against his brother with anything less than perfection. His eyes narrowed, searching for an opening in that unflappable expression and formal stance that was so characteristic of Gwendal. When he perceived a slight imbalance as Gwendal's foot grazed his right as he circled, Wolfram lunged.
Wolfram clenched his teeth for the tenth time that day. Apparently, the entire castle thought he was not only deaf but blind as well. He had already seen about fourteen people wandering innocently into the kitchen or the laundry room and coming out with giddiness lightening their steps. Those maids were definitely up to something again and it no doubt had to do with playing the odds. It was the mazouku's favorite unofficial sport even though Yuuri was determined to change that to baseball of all things.
Try as he might, Wolfram really couldn't understand the appeal of the game even if he loved how it made his fiancé’s eyes light up every time it was mentioned and he was a little more amenable afterwards. Those precious moments helping ease the aches the game had given to Yuuri were the closest he would let Wolfram get. He was too suspicious at any other time.
Shrugging, Wolfram continued stretching his muscles in preparation for his daily workout. Not only did he need to be limber for the sword practice ahead, but he needed to relax in order to control his magic. Every skill was valuable, and he demanded no less than perfection from himself and his men. They were hand picked especially for their unique ability to be proficient in both types of warfare.
Still, why couldn't they stop whispering to themselves? It was getting old, that incessant murmur. Besides, everyone knew Gwendal no longer seriously practiced. How they imagined they'd get him and Wolfram into a duel together was beyond his keen. He knew better than to challenge his elder brother even if he was confident in his abilities. Gwendal had years of experience on his side.
Shaking his head, he bounced to his feet, enjoying the feeling of rippling muscles as the settled into familiar poses. Wolfram was just going to have to beat some sense into his men. Glancing over his shoulder, he took satisfaction in their averted gazes. They should be ashamed! The majority had bet against him. He was just going to have to teach them some manners.
Smiling, he slowly built up a fireball in his hand. When no one noticed the coiling energy, he shouted a single warning before flinging it into their mist. The majority escaped unscathed and a few battled with burnt clothing and singed hair. It served them right, letting their guards down like that.
Laughing, he released another spell at his men and took satisfaction in their quick reflexes this second time around. He was going to enjoy teaching them how to stay on top of their toes. “Come on, men; you can do better than that! You’re supposed to be the best of the best, but if you can’t even keep on eye on the enemy what’s going to happen to you?”
He dashed in with his sword and gave two a thwack with the flat of his blade to their arms and backsides. “Come at me, if you think you can stop me!”
Determination began to gleam in their eyes as one by one and groups of two to three dashed in with spells with swords to take on their captain. Wolfram, was going to make them rue they day they doubted his abilities. He also hoped it would give them the motivation to improve if they couldn’t even lay a hand on him. He was looking forward to leaving this training session black and blue and his men in worse condition.
War, after all, was a harsh mistress. There would be no pulled punches in their future if it came down to it. And perhaps, he would convince them that he really did have a chance against his siblings.
What he didn't know was that a plan was already in motion to settle that question once and for all. There would be no escaping the duel once the maids had Yuuri on their side. What would start out as an exhibition for Yuuri's benefit would shortly turn into a full challenge.
Did he have to cheer so loudly? Wolfram glared at Yuuri and slowly stood up, wiping the dirt off the back of his pants. It was undignified, the way he had been beaten. That slip of Gwendal's foot had been calculated from the beginning and a swift spin around his blade and a foot hooked around Wolfram's ankle had neatly done the trick. At least he managed to get first blood out of him, even if his pride had to be sacrificed.
Turning his nose up at his fiance, Wolfram turned to face his half-brother and grudgingly nodded his head. "You haven't lost your touch, brother, but the next time we spar, I'll make sure you won't win with petty tricks." Stabbing his sword back into its sheath, Wolfram made to walk out of the combat circle only to find himself stopped by Gwendal’s hand on his forearm. Staring down at it, Wolfram swallowed.
"You did well today, Wolfram. You've improved tremendously since the last time we fought."
Wolfram frowned. Of course he had. It had been over 10 years since they last crossed blades. Besides, Wolfram preferred to keep his skills honed and Gwendal was often to busy seeing to the day to day duties of regent to spare time on practice.
"You haven't lost your touch, either, Gwendal. Although, if you were still as good as you used to be, you wouldn't have let me last longer than five parries."
He was rewarded with a smile twitch. "You barely lasted longer than that, Wolfram."
Wolfram scowled. Of course he hadn't. Gwendal had opted for caution this time, forcing Wolfram to attack rather than defend. What else did he expect? It was ridiculous of course.
"Still, you might be right. I should practice more often and you need a more challenging partner than the men you have following you. They're to predictable and so are you."
Wolfram looked fully at his brother and couldn't help but smile a little despite the frenetic jumping up and down both Yuuri and Greta were currently doing on the sidelines. "And you need to get out of your office more often."
Gwendal smiled back. "Of course, and it will give Yuuri the perfect opportunity to start taking over some of the duties I've been completing for him." He turned his gaze fully unto one frozen Demon King. "You don't expect me to keep doing them forever, do you Yuuri?"
No one could miss the thinly veiled menace in Gwendal’s voice.
Wolfram noted the hesitant gaze and the panicked look in Yuuri’s eyes. At least he had the good sense not to duck and run. He hoped that Yuuri wouldn't attempt to neglect his duties again. Of course, Wolfram supposed he could warn him not to try with Gwendal as his opponent. Gunter was way to soft on him. Still, it amused Wolfram endlessly that the sea of paperwork which confronted his fiancé was purely a fabrication of Gwendal's subtle revenge. If he just behaved, only a fourth of those documents would need to be signed personally. The rest was mere window dressing.
"I think that would be an excellent idea Gwendal. It'll keep him out of trouble."
Yuuri blanched.
Perhaps this duel wasn't such a bad thing in the end.
Addendum: This fic was a little different from my usual style which is why I went ahead and posted it. Concrit, as usual, is very much appreciated.
Back to Fic Archive
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no subject
Date: 2007-07-15 12:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-16 01:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-15 10:04 pm (UTC)I also really enjoyed Wolfram wreaking havoc to punish his men. It was so much fun to picture!
I think you did a really great job writing for the prompt! <3
no subject
Date: 2007-07-16 01:54 am (UTC)Thank-you for your review!
no subject
Date: 2007-07-15 11:19 pm (UTC)It was a debate Wolfram would have preferred avoiding, but things never turned out the way he wanted. Sweat glistened on his brow as he slowly crossed his right foot over his left…
I think the transition between these two sentences is a bit choppy. Going from the nameless debate to the fight without explaining kind of threw me a bit. In general, the first two paragraphs didn’t really flow for me, and after I got to the end of the second paragraph I had to go back and reread them now that I had the setting clear in my mind. I would perhaps rearrange things slightly, describing the sweat on his brow and the concentration and mentioning that he was staring Gwendal down, and then possibly mention the debate?
I know I’m being VERY nitpicky, but hey, that’s me: in fighting, circling your opponent is possibly the worst battle strategy ever. As I learned in kendo/krav, you want to try to keep your balance uniform until you are attacking/defending, because moving makes you risk exactly what you said happened to Gwendal: a balance shift that gives the opponent the upper hand. I would suspect that both Wolfram and Gwendal are experienced enough at close quarter combat to not make that error.
unflappable expression and formal stance that was so characteristic of Gwendal
That’s Gwen exactly! Nice imagery here. ^_^
Wolfram clenched his teeth for the tenth time… He had already seen about fourteen people
While the teeth-clenching especially are great for IC Wolfram, my own beta taught me that rarely do people count things like that, so mentioning specific numbers seems a bit too…uh…specific. Little thing, but it helped me a lot as far as being true to stream of consciousness.
Those maids were definitely up to something again and it no doubt had to do with playing the odds.
LOVE the maids, always! <3 They’re such great plot devices. ^^
It was the mazouku's favorite unofficial sport even though Yuuri was determined to change that to baseball of all things.
While I can appreciate Wolfram’s views on baseball, the paragraph about it seemed out of place to me. I can’t put my finger on it, exactly…
They were hand picked especially for their unique ability to be proficient in both types of warfare.
Not to mention the hot blond bishie-ness! ^_^ Nice detail, I really like Wolfram’s confidence in his troops is combined with his demands for perfection and hard training. ^^
It was getting old, that incessant murmur. Besides, everyone knew Gwendal no longer seriously practiced.
I really love the subtle emotions in these lines. Wolfram’s pride and his desire not to fight his brother and irritation that his troops might be questioning him… love! ^^
When no one noticed the coiling energy, he shouted a single warning before flinging it into their mist.
Hmm. On one hand, I love the picture of an evilly grinning Wolfram shooting fireballs at people. On the other, I don’t really know if he’d actually throw fire into a group of his men. He’s hot tempered, but also disciplined and in the anime he rarely throws magic around casually. But I do really love that mental picture… ^_^
He dashed in with his sword and gave two a thwack with the flat of his blade to their arms and backsides. “Come at me, if you think you can stop me!”
There you go, I LOVE that line! So IC and just the kind of punishment Wolfram would dish out. ^^
What he didn't know was that a plan was already in motion to settle that question once and for all. There would be no escaping the duel once the maids had Yuuri on their side. What would start out as an exhibition for Yuuri's benefit would shortly turn into a full challenge.
Since you specifically mentioned that you were trying to stay in third person limited, I should point out that this paragraph, while spectacular foreshadowing, really is more of a narrator POV. It’s hard to make the transition, I know, but thought I’d bring it up anyway. ^^
Continued, because I am longwinded...
I know, shocker huh?no subject
Date: 2007-07-15 11:19 pm (UTC)Again, this transition made me blink. It becomes clear shortly, but at the same time the transition is choppy. Perhaps something like Wolfram hearing cheering around him, but trying to focus on the duel, then getting distracted by Yuuri’s loud cheering and being irritated by it? Not sure though…
That slip of Gwendal's foot had been calculated from the beginning
&hearts &hearts &hearts Gwendal, I love you!!! And I love this line! It’s so perfect for Gwen to do something like that. ^_^
He was rewarded with a smile twitch. "You barely lasted longer than that, Wolfram."
*fangirl squeeing like whoa*
"You don't expect me to keep doing them forever, do you Yuuri?"
More nitpicking, but…Gwendal hasn’t called Yuuri by his name once that I can recall. It’s always “Your Majesty,” probably out of spite. XP
If he just behaved, only a fourth of those documents would need to be signed personally. The rest was mere window dressing.
*laughs* Love this!! It’s just so prefect to have Gwendal torture Yuuri unnecessarily! ^^
Overall, I like what you’ve done with the rivalry – slash – brotherly respect, as well as the troops and their mocking Wolfram (although fearfully XD) behind his back. The one thing I think really should be mentioned again is the maids and their bet, it was mentioned in the beginning and than not in the end, and I think it would have really added a great touch. Wonderful job, especially with the POV consistency (except that one teensy part).
As always, your writing is full of win! ^_^
no subject
Date: 2007-07-16 02:16 am (UTC)Concerning the baseball paragraph: I may have been to vague for my own good in that paragraph and/or implied to great a degree of intimacy between Wolfram and Yuuri that isn't really supported elsewhere, so I can see why that might feel a bit off. It's amazing how you managed to find every paragraph/sentence that I was a bit hesitant on leaving or rewriting ^^
I don’t really know if he’d actually throw fire into a group of his men: I was attempting to convey the feeling that Wolfram was confident enough in his troops ability to react quickly because he did use magic here. However, he also was protecting them slightly in the sense that he did give them a warning before throwing magic at them. I'll have to think about how I can reword this though. You've definitely made a good point here. *ponders*
On Gwendal's use of Yuuri's name or lack thereof: O.O I never noticed that... Man I need to rewatch this show >.< I've forgotten so much of it...
Heh. I'm so glad you liked this, and that it proved to read better after I let it sit overnight. Thank-you very much for your constructive criticism. ♥♥♥ You've definitely given me something to think about.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-17 01:16 am (UTC)I like how you described the relationship between Gwendal and Wolfram, and the inclusion of the giggling maids is definitely very nice XD
The only concrit I can offer is on characterization of the relationship between Wolfram and his troops. I know it's not quite evident in anime, but Wolfram's soldiers respect him a lot and would always support him no matter what he attempted, so I doubt they would have betted against him.
Also, I don't think Wolfram would have released a spell on his men like that as he does care about them and would have thought about the fact that it might potentially injure them.
Just my opinions ^^;;
no subject
Date: 2007-08-18 10:11 pm (UTC)I felt Wolfram's voice throughout your piece was very strong and slightly dark. I haven't read a lot of fics with Wolfram's voice portrayed as you have and it intrigued me while reading your fic. I felt there was a hinge of menace, whether it was due to Wolfram's annoyance of the 'incessant murmuring' of his guards or due to the rivalry Wolfram must have felt having to spar with his brother again or due to losing to Yuuri prior... Although, it's probably all 3 issues being compounded and everything basically led up to Wolfram's pride issue as you've indicated through your title name. Overall, I think it works very well, your title and the way you've presented the issues as you have <3
Although, I don't think Wolfram would ever throw a fireball to his guards like that or that his guards would bet against him/feel like that towards Wolfram, as some has already mentioned, but your explanation of "he also hoped it would give them the motivation to improve if they couldn’t even lay a hand on him," seems very plausible to me.
You did a wonderful job writing this and I love how much Wolfram understood what Gwendal was doing, "if he just behaved, only a fourth of those documents would need to be signed personally. The rest was mere window dressing." Your ending sentence is also perfect <3
no subject
Date: 2007-08-24 02:50 am (UTC)