Nice fic, it's definitely interesting to read about a batlle between Gwendal and Wolfram. Also, I like the flow of the story a lot, and I especially loved how Gwendal and Wolfram conspired against Yuuri in the end ^_^ I like how you described the relationship between Gwendal and Wolfram, and the inclusion of the giggling maids is definitely very nice XD
The only concrit I can offer is on characterization of the relationship between Wolfram and his troops. I know it's not quite evident in anime, but Wolfram's soldiers respect him a lot and would always support him no matter what he attempted, so I doubt they would have betted against him. Also, I don't think Wolfram would have released a spell on his men like that as he does care about them and would have thought about the fact that it might potentially injure them.
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Date: 2007-07-17 01:16 am (UTC)I like how you described the relationship between Gwendal and Wolfram, and the inclusion of the giggling maids is definitely very nice XD
The only concrit I can offer is on characterization of the relationship between Wolfram and his troops. I know it's not quite evident in anime, but Wolfram's soldiers respect him a lot and would always support him no matter what he attempted, so I doubt they would have betted against him.
Also, I don't think Wolfram would have released a spell on his men like that as he does care about them and would have thought about the fact that it might potentially injure them.
Just my opinions ^^;;