http://tsukihime-san.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] tsukihime-san.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] snippets 2009-06-11 07:44 am (UTC)

I liked how you handled the prompt here - it is a really quiet, "home-brings-comfort" piece. When I watched the series, I always saw Lin as one of the pillars in Naru's life - steady and reassuring, sort of like older brother/father/best friend mix with a dash of motherly concern. So, good work!
I wish you wrote in a bit more details the second part of the story, after Naru speaks aloud. It felt like a lot is being left unsaid, as if you suddenly kick the reader our of Naru's mind, shifting the POV towards a distant observer's point.

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